15 worst birthday gifts to give your girlfriend
As we state often, there are always exceptions to every rule, but some things are fairly universal. Women tend to hold their own birthdays in high regard; there’s the happy party vibe, and there’s the mild self-loathing that accompanies her feeling of getting one year older. It’s a tense time for any would-be gift giver, to be sure. There are certain things that guys simply should not get their girlfriends for their birthdays, however — unless she explicitly asks for them. Some could get a guy slapped, and some might hurt not for what they could get him, but for what he won’t be getting after giving them. These are the 15 worst birthday gifts to give a girlfriend; don’t make any of these mistakes.
Any Household Appliance
Nothing says romance like a vacuum cleaner. You may think you’re being thoughtful, but the sight of a brand new toaster, vacuum, iron, and so on is tantamount to saying “how about you clean up your dump of an apartment.” Unless she’s in genuine need of one of these things, and asks for it, this is not what you want to hand her on that special day.
Acne or Wrinkle Creams
We see women spend ridiculous amounts of money and time on facial creams, exfoliants, complexion repair treatments, “age-defying” lotions and all the other things they gobble up on a regular basis. Some of us might get the bright idea to get a girl some of this stuff for her birthday, thinking it’s normal and apparently appreciated. We’d be wrong. Getting a girl anything but scented lotions is like saying she needs some work done, and she’s not likely to appreciate that very much.
This should be a no-brainer, but it happens. Guys run into the problem fairly often; their girl gets a little lazy with work and school and setting aside relaxation time, or there’s just too many shots and not enough laps — whatever the case may be, getting her a gym membership is not the answer. It’s liable to get you slapped if you’re not careful (duck fast) and there’s really no way around the fact that it’s pretty insulting.
Nose Hair Trimmer
As odd as this sounds, it’s happened more times than should ever be counted. Usually as part of a bigger package, lazy guys make the mistake of not accounting for the unisex nature of travel kits. It’s bad enough that you’re handing your girlfriend a totally insincere, last minute “gift,” but having a nose hair trimmer as part of the deal is like a slap to the face — something you should probably expect if you try this one.
A Cook Book
Much like the household appliances, this screams anything but romance. In fact, what it says most is “get to the kitchen and make me sandwich.” You may as well hand her some oven mitts, an apron, and a bag of flour while you’re at it. As nice as it’d be, we don’t live in the world of Mad Men, and you’d be safer taking her out to dinner instead of giving her instructions on how to make you dinner.
A Bikini Wax Kit
This says “I don’t like the way your whole crotch looks, and I’d like you to change that for me.” Not exactly the romantic message you want to send to a girl on her birthday, is it? A gift certificate to an expensive, full service salon/spa that also offers bikini wax services is a better bet. You never know, while she’s there, she may decide on her own to go ahead and trim the grounds.
Facial Hair Remover
These things, hilarious as they may be, are all the rage right now among women.