Весна. Притворствуй! / The spring. Pretend!

The spring. Pretend!

It is the time when you especially do not want to sleep, running early in the morning through the subways and the narrowest streets of Moscow looking for your own reflexion. Yes! This time is certain to look for happiness. But I`m not looking for happiness, I have probably found it. However, not everyone is foredoomed to see the world little higher than it is in real. I often spend a lot of my time sitting by the window behind the desk with a pile of books, doing some sketches and thinking I like it so much to think what people are going to do this night, in what state they will appear tomorrow and what they like to eat for breakfast. Human is an extraordinary creature. Now it is fashionable to be not a human, only be something like that. It is midnight, as usual, I`m sitting with a mug of bitter coffee and making plans for tomorrow, analyzing the day that has gone. You would see a lot of hidden things, you can to see a blessing in disguise. After all, we know that the deepest sense is covered between lines. I myself feel so offensive that only a lie and false opinions connect people. Why can`t we give full swing to each other? We can start to speak a truth, we can start to smile, we can start to help each other, we can start to listen and understand, and we can respect yourselves and others. We often tell lies to our closest people. First of all we deceive ourselves! We can be sincere to ourselves and to other people. I remember when I was reading Lermontov`s poems book it turned out that he had criticized his generation too. By the way, generation at that time was better than the present generation is. After all, we are all like brothers sharing our one house called Russia. And I judge my «relatives» for their miserliness, greed, mistakes and mistrust to each other.

Once the poor little girl came to me at the street with the glass that with five roubles inside and asked:

— How many pluses do you have?

— Where are? On a photo-forum site, isn`t it?

— No it is, in heavens.

After that, I`ve felt myself very disgustingly. I have abused myself. I have got up steam to change my attitude to life. Since then I have accepted and then have loved this world just what it is — so indifferent, greedy, avaricious and false. I have understood certain formulas and laws of life. Since then I have found the purpose, I have my best friends, my dreams. I have revived and i believe that I will create something for closest people feel warmth and cosiness.